00:01 Welcome to a Pirate Home Front where we talk about health, wealth, and relationships. And let's not forget about the most important one, my friend, and that is Faye.
00:10 Because I believe that we've all been lied to, and we're gonna skill stack our way all the way to success, and I'm gonna bring you on this magnificent journey with us.
00:19 And listen guys, today I've got an important message for you. If you've ever been in a situation where you are just frustrated and angry at way the other person is acting, or communicating, or performing, then this is the episode for you.
00:39 Communication working as a team, so complicated, but at the same time, standards have to be met. And in order for you to perform well as a team, you've got to set those standards and you've got to hold your team accountable to them.
00:52 What you accept becomes your norm. If you don't like it, don't accept it first time and definitely do not accept it the second time.
01:02 I'm trying to share a story with you that you can really relate with about perspectives, about conversations that you had.
01:10 So I'm going to share with you stories from our early past whenever I was a young man and I was stubborn as hell.
01:19 Whenever I was 19 years old, I already had a master ASC certification and automotive, and that's kind of like having a doctorate in cars, okay?
01:33 So like I went to college and I went to college to turn wrenches, to be a mechanic, to be a technician, and right around that 19, 20 rolling into close to 21, I'm running my own shop.
01:50 Now, at that time, I didn't own the shop. It was my mom's and dad's shop. And it was a shop stacked with a car line.
01:58 The shop was a four-bay garage. And then there's another building that was a drive-through building that you could put about four more vehicles in.
02:07 So, essentially an eight-bay shop that I'm running on my own. I'm doing everything except for collecting the payment. So, as far as turning out customer service, as far as making sure that jobs get done on time.
02:20 That's what I was doing. Now, I felt like I was doing really well. And the reason I felt like I was doing really well was not because the people around me, my mom and dad was telling me that it was because customers were starting to drive hundreds of miles away to come and have me work on their vehicle
02:41 . I literally had customers drive from like two, three counties away just to come to me. I was very good at running custom exhaust.
02:51 So when they drove that far, they was coming that far because I was the guy to come to in that area to run custom exhaust.
03:00 I'm talking about you looked up under it and you thought it was a peace kit. It looked beautiful and I took great pride in running this exhaust.
03:08 But I am the type where I'm constantly growing, right? I'm constantly learning. I'm constantly skill stacking this is skill stacking 101.com if you like the free lesson on skill stack and we dive deep into it there All right, all of a sudden I get into transmissions, okay, and I start rebuilding transmissions
03:30 now I didn't go and start rebuilding transmissions right away as a service for the shop instead I started studying I I started reading, I started watching videos, I started actually rebuilding my own videos, transmissions and I learned how to do it.
03:48 Now, also keep in mind, I was already a master ASC certified technician, which meant like the automotive society of engineering, I had like all the certificates.
03:57 And pretty much what that means is I'm pretty good at taking a test and passing it and getting it to certificate.
04:04 Because at the end of the day, it doesn't matter if you got a diploma or a certification or whatever that is, it doesn't matter unless you can perform because I had the certification for transmissions as well, but that didn't mean that I could provide it as a service.
04:21 I started rebuilding transmissions and I remember I was rebuilding my buddy's transmission and he had a Tahoe and I rebuilt it and it's setting over there in the garage and that other building that I mentioned.
04:35 And I want you to visualize there's a car lot there's four bays and that right there is like the primary business.
04:44 Down the other shop is a bigger building with two doors and it's dropped through and that shop my dad said hey son that is yours do whatever you want with it and I I did.
04:59 I literally took action and I started working on the weekends. I started working afterward, right? I'm learning the skills because I want to start building transmissions because I seen money in it.
05:12 There was plenty of money and custom exhaust and running diagnostics and alignments, which that's what I was already famous for.
05:20 So that word was already out. I already started building a really good business, word of mouth, from people just saying, And hey, you need to go see this young kid, right?
05:29 I'm over here in this other shop on a weekend and we're working. I'm sitting there, somehow in that forebay garage and my mom and my dad's in there.
05:39 Something happened and my dad gets really mad and he yells and he points and he points over at, this is all I remember.
05:47 I remember him being bloodshot red. I remember me being mad. I remember me just squeezing my fist I feel so restricted, I feel so put down and I remember him yelling and pointing at that shop and he says go get that vehicle out of my shop and when he said that that was the domino that got knocked over
06:12 for me that made me leave home. I love my dad to death and actually now looking back I am thankful that he said that that Trigger something in me to leave my hometown and never come back with my dad And when he pointed and he said my shop that's literally the only thing I remember I remember crying because
06:32 I was so hurt I remember going and getting the vehicle out of the shop Finish the transmission build, but when he said that it canceled all of that hard work that I've been putting in and the customer base that I've already built So, you know, if anything is worth doing right and it's worth doing well
06:50 , there is a dichotomy to that concept. Not everything you can do to the best of your ability all the time because of time.
06:57 Everything you should do should be done to the best of your ability. And that's the way I live my life.
07:01 But immediately when he said that, everything that I work for, all that extra time that I spent doing all of that stuff, working weekends, working after hours, pouring into these customers were just lost because up until that moment, my dream was I was going to run the entire shop, the entire mechanic
07:22 business right there for my mom and dad for the rest of my life. And I was going to make it as big as I could possibly do.
07:31 Thinking about that, what was the perspective of my dad, right? Why did he say the things that he said, what It was his real fear, right?
07:41 Because he just didn't, he didn't say that because he wanted to rip those things out of me. He didn't say that because he wanted to rip the backbone out of everything that I worked so hard for up until that time.
07:55 I made the choices I made because of way he made me feel. And I wonder how I made him feel before that.
08:03 Was he threatened? Was he worried? Was he in fear of something bad happening to the business? Was I doing something wrong?
08:12 What could I've done better to make that dream of mine come true and work well with him, right? I don't know, and I'll probably never know.
08:20 Me and my dad cannot talk about that situation, right? Like his perspective on it is completely different from mine, and if I bring it up, it's immediately shut down and it's almost like in denial, which is fine.
08:33 You know, some people don't want to relive the past. My point with sharing this is, is like, how do you grow?
08:38 Every conversation you have, every lesson that you receive, you have a choice. You can be the victim. And in today's world, the victim is praised.
08:48 I'm gonna lay it out there like it is. And I want you to hear me when I say this. In today's world, with the why means, what did I do wrong?
08:57 It's not fair. If there's one saying in one statement that really chaps my mind, it's not fair. For one, can you even define fair?
09:06 Can you define fair? You can say, hey, this is fair across the board. And not only is this view fair, because I say it's fair, but also what I say is fair on your side.
09:18 Can you define that? I can't. What I say is fair, you probably won't say it's fair. We all have different perspectives.
09:25 And the goal is to really open your mind up and to reflect. skill stacking discover learn execute you're gonna hit that wall and when you hit that wall you're gonna repeat but that wall lives right here in between step three and step four and that wall will destroy your life if you let it everything 
09:46 is hard you have to choose your heart once you understand this fairness should go out the door you shouldn't be worried about what is fair instead worry about what is your standard?
09:59 What do you value? I guarantee you me and my father value the exact same thing during that time. And I can also guarantee you that whatever made him say those things, it made me feel the way I felt was because our beliefs were different to get to our values.
10:16 We need to have a conversation with someone. It's the heart conversation, right? We like to say, hey, let's have a heart conversation.
10:23 One thing I know for a fact is if you avoid having a heart conversation because of that discomfort because you don't want to offend the other person or you don't want to make the other person upset then you're accepting that outcome that is in front of you now and you better be okay with it because that
10:42 will become your norm. What you accept is tolerated and what you tolerate becomes your light. Then when we have a conversation with someone we don't have to pick a fight all the time.
10:53 That's not what I'm saying. I'm not saying ever pick a fight. What I'm saying is, speak less, reflect more. Think about where the other person is coming from, and reflect on that, ask questions if you need to.
11:06 I'm sorry for what happened and I want to do better. I don't really know if I was in the wrong or not, but honestly, it doesn't matter.
11:14 Next time this happens, what can I do to manage this situation better? And then and accepting responsibility. We have to accept responsibility for delivering results.
11:25 If you're a parent immediately, when that baby is starting to be created, you just accept the responsibility of being a parent.
11:34 The issue is, is for some reason we think that's optional. You will be a parent, whether you like it or not.
11:41 You can be an absent parent, you can be a dedicated parent, you can be a loving parent, you can be a mean parent, But you are a parent from that time forward.
11:49 But for some reason, like we started accepting and tolerating these things where it's just like a lower standard in society.
11:56 Why? We gotta accept responsibility for delivering results. And what that means is if I am a parent and we are having this baby together, it's not only her responsibility to parent that baby, it is my responsibility.
12:11 Whenever something bad That happens. It's not only her responsibility, it is my responsibility. If she's left home with the kids to raise them, nurture them, love them, and I go off and I go to work, that doesn't remove my responsibility from coming home and nurturing and loving and caring for my kids
12:31 . It is still my responsibility. That means that when I am away at work and I am providing income and I come home and she was not loving and nurturing and caring for my kids I need to do something about it because it's my responsibility to make sure that thing is done.
12:48 When did we get to the point where whenever something is happening and it's our responsibility to make sure that it's done but then all of a sudden we say here you do this part.
12:58 Why does that mean that it's no longer your responsibility? We have to accept responsibility. It doesn't matter who's actually doing the job.
13:06 In a team, if there is a project, if there is a thing that needs to be done, and you're not directly responsible for making sure that thing gets done, and your other teammate is, your wife, your spouse, your colleague, your coworker, it doesn't matter.
13:21 If you're involved in that project, you're responsible for making sure that they deliver the result. And it doesn't matter where you are in that total.
13:29 It doesn't matter if you're on top, it doesn't matter if you're on bottom. That's being an A player. and there's perspectives to all of this, but what I'm laying out is a standard.
13:36 Everything I just said in the last couple of minutes is not a perspective, it's a standard. It's a standard of how things will be handled and then they shall be handled, and we should meet those standards.
13:45 Now my standards can absolutely be different than your standards. You might have a standard of whenever I am doing a project and I'm doing a thing, if I hand it off to you, I am no longer worried about that thing because my standard says that I don't have to And because of that if the entire project 
14:02 fails because that's what most people live by and I don't understand Why would you choose to do that the whole goal of being part of that project being part of that thing is to make sure that it's Done at the best of your ability.
14:15 That is your name in the past Everybody having lower standards and because it was tolerated becomes the norm and now guys All you got to do is just raise your level up a little bit and you are like Extraordinary something so small but perspectives you take a coin and that coin has three sides You've 
14:36 got the far left you've got the far right and you got the middle the edge Now that edge is where all the good stuff is right down there in the center of that coin That's where the dichotomy the balance of the two goods and the evils because far left is both good and evil are right is both good and evil
14:56 . Where's the balance? It's right there in the middle. But you've got to stand for something. Whenever you are in a conversation and those perspectives are threatened, this is the secret to figuring out if you can move this conversation forward or not.
15:10 Is the words being used by both parties, words that are moving forward or are the words that are talking about the past and the present?
15:20 This is what this sounds like. I know that, you know, this was my job to do, but last weekend, I don't know if you remember this, but like, I sent you a calendar invite and I said, hey, I'm changing the time from this time to that time.
15:36 And, you know, it should be in your email, you know? I mean, I guess, yes, you didn't check it, right?
15:43 So anyway, because you didn't check it and I showed up on time and, well, now, like, I mean I guess we're just not going to do the project at all right because like I I did my part like I sent you the I sent you the reminder Yeah, but you sent me the reminder, but like I don't check my emails, and why
16:02 didn't you do it sooner? I can't wait to the last second and then all of a sudden it shouldn't change my schedule just because you wanted to right there's Perspectives instead of talking about the past because that entire conversation right there was why what did I do wrong by am I always getting blamed
16:21 it's not my fault none of that is moving this situation forward instead this little situation of a schedule should be handled something like this hey whenever we have last minute changes we're not just relying on one system to have a notification okay especially if it's something abnormal very last second
16:42 you need to make sure that I respond to you. So since it's my responsibility and your responsibility for us to deliver and there's a last minute change, let's make sure that we receive each other's message.
16:55 Is that okay? Then I'm moving that conversation forward. Now I'll be in stern and I'm setting a standard and I'm setting the expectations of what should happen in the future.
17:03 Now when the future comes around and that still doesn't happen, how's the question of hey, you know last time this This happened, I mentioned this fix action in order to resolve this so it doesn't happen again.
17:14 Do you remember that? Oh yeah, I remember it. Since you remember that, why didn't you do it this time? Well, I don't think that you're a good fit for this team because this team needs to execute.
17:24 And if you can't do the simple things, then you're holding the whole team down. So since I am responsible for making sure that this entire project and this team, then I think that you need to be removed from the team because that's our next option if you cannot do these things Would you rather for that
17:41 to happen now that future is a hard conversation because essentially I'm firing the guy Or the girl and that will happen if things continuously to get dropped There's a set standard on handling yourself professionally that way everybody can be delivered This happened and how can I make sure that I have
17:58 the best interest of the team and when I mention team guys That is your wife. That is your husband. That is your kids.
18:06 Now whenever we mentioned team and it's still in with your wife, still in with your kids, you can't fire them.
18:14 You're stuck with them and those are some hard situations to handle because now you've got to worry about perspectives. If you come at your wife really hard and you have a conversation just like I had, even though it's moving it forward, she may follow on that victim card and she'd be like, Well, why
18:29 me you're always yelling at me. You're always hitting me down. You're always be little in me You're always be rating me.
18:34 I can't do anything right then you're trying to get something done and instead How are we moving this forward? But I can guarantee you this you get on any high Level team that executes at a high level Silt team PJ Army Ranger first form Wall Street executives the head operators of Google Apple Facebook
18:57 Look, I guarantee you that they do not let their standards slip at that high level. Now, at the bottom, where everybody sees, I mean, they probably tolerate some stuff because they can afford it.
19:08 Question is, can you afford it? Can you afford to tolerate things? But whenever people who have a low standard and get some of those high executive roles, that's when the company tanks.
19:17 Apple, Steve Jobs, he had an extremely high standard and that's reason Apple is Apple. Steve Jobs didn't have that high standards and Apple wouldn't be Apple.
19:26 Set yourself apart guys and also reflect reflect is the most important thing you can do It's not why me whenever a situation happens and you respond with a why you're playing the victim if you respond to a how You're moving the conversation forward.
19:42 That's your choice. You are responsible for making sure the whole project is delivered So ensure that whoever is responsible for that task you're checking in on them You're asking them how can I help you're asking them saying hey, how can I help you get this done quicker?
19:56 Hey, what is missing? Did I miss anything? Hey, when is this gonna be done? Same thing with your family. Teach your kids how to execute at a high level.
20:04 Teach them how not to procrastinate. And trust me, they're watching you and they're learning how to procrastinate. Because we all do it.
20:11 I procrastinate everybody to procrastinate. It's impossible not to. It may be a little, maybe a lot, but all we need to do is reflect and ask how.
20:20 Do better. Alright, guys, take ownership. Be responsible for delivering results. I want to see everybody being a player. If you like this show, please like, subscribe, and share with somebody who you think would find value.
20:31 I'm taking on you on this journey with us as I skill stack my way to success. If you don't know about DillBossProject.com, you need to visit DillBossProject.com and get started building your wealth through real estate.